Tomorrow's forecast: Old.

I am about to be less than half a decade to 30 years old. I never thought the day would come. Sure, sure, I'm 26, no one feels sorry for me. But that won't stop me feeling sorry for myself! Okay, I'll avoid the pity party and let's reflect upon all the years.

1 decade ago I was:

- Just about to get my driver's license

- Trying to grow a beard

- Playing high school football

- Trying any way to find beer

 and I still had things to look forward to:

- Getting into Rated R movies

- Voting

- Buying Playboy

- Alcoholism/College

And now look at me. Washed up. I'm getting bitter which only shows my age. I just can't win and my damn hip is actin' up again dag-gum-it. Take me out to pasture, I'm done for! 

This goose is cooked.