... has changed!
I find myself thinking about things far different than I used to. Tonight we watched a movie called "Life As We Know It" and, while it was a good movie, it really hit home. The movie is about a couple with a daughter who are killed in a car accident and left their daughter to be raised by their two best friends (who at first are not fond of each other so on and so forth) -- and honestly, it was a funny, good movie. But it was hard to watch.
It was hard to watch because the entire movie I was thinking about Reid. What if something ever happened to Laura and me? I can't bear the thought of leaving him, Laura or any of my family but leaving him is the absolute hardest to think.
I'm his dad. Period. With Laura, he'd raise up just fine and deal without his father. Without either of us, we now have little/no control. Who will raise him? Is it fair to hand him off to his aunt, uncle, grandparents? Would they take him... yes, I don't doubt that. But still -- that's my boy!
It sounds so strange to think about it, maybe even morbid. There are things I never thought about before, or if I did think about it, I wasn't really truly scared of the consequences. For instance:
1) Having life insurance - I now think about how my wife and son would live without me.
2) Having a living will - where would he go? Who would take care of him? How do we decide this?
3) That car 100 yards away swerved a little, I better get over - honestly, never would have worried too much about this or really even noticed, but when Reid is in the car (and now even without), all I can think is how I can keep him as safe as possible .. it's a good thing but so different!
Life as we know it ... has changed!
But on an unrelated note: funny story -
Today, I went to Kroger to get some stuff for dinner and while in line at the self checkout area, a couple of guys walk right up, ignoring the line and get next to a self-checkout.
I always assume the best in people and thought this to be an honest mistake. Since I was in a line of apparent passive aggressive people, I said, "Hey, the lines back here." The alpha of the two looked up, stared at the line and said, "No, we don't need to do that." Typically, I am rather passive and let things go, but this time I just couldn't. I said, "There's nothing special about you, asshole. Get in line." The shock on everyone's face was rather great and without a word, he got in line.
Life has changed indeed.
