It was quite awhile ago when I mentioned I was to become a father. Well, now, I have been a father for 3 weeks and a day. All of the things I've spoken about in this blog have primarily been dealing with relationships between peers/adults/people who can wipe their own butt... well, for the most part. Now I am learning an entirely NEW relationship -- the baby. This relationship is one of pure dependence and all I have ever really relied on was being independent. It's strange how different my world has become and it is very interesting.
Frustration is a common word at the moment. But I can't really describe it... hell, dictionary.com can't even really describe frustration: -n ; the condition of being frustrated. Yup, that sounds about right.
But frustration is only skin deep. When he is cute, quiet and sleeping, I can only think about the future. Who really cares why WE are here? Why is he here? What does it mean and where is it leading?
I truly believe every one of us has something we are put here to do and that we are uniquely the best at doing. Whether it is parenting, athletics, biochemistry, helping the underprivileged, whatever, I believe there is something we are the best at doing. The hard part is the majority of people out there have either never thought of that, never been told that or have never been motivated (whether internally or externally) to consciously try to pursue that. My generation is SO caught up in doing things quickly, getting immediate satisfaction, that no one ever really stops to think of the right way to do things and how they can improve themselves. I honestly believe this is why we are in such deep trouble in this country when it pertains to Wall St. and politicians. These hot shots are looking for the quick way instead of the right way and that's how we get into these disasters.
I hope I can instill this in my boy, Reid, to think for himself and TAKE HIS TIME to figure himself out. I believe having a strong sense of self-awareness is vital to his development into an adult. I know it will be awhile before I get there but I hope I have the awareness to see when the time is right. Forcing the issue will do nothing. I want him to have fun, play sports, play with friends, get hurt, be stupid but I will do my damn best to make sure all those details don't distract me from helping him grow and develop. Can I have the congnizance to recognize his strengths and weaknesses? I know a lot of people say strengthen your weaknesses and you'll be stronger but does it really? What good would it do for me to focus on being taller? I believe focusing on your strengths is what helps you become that unique person who is the best of something. The key is being aware of it and figuring it out on your own; but also, being realistic and not kidding yourself. I was good at football, but it wasn't my strength in life.
How the hell do you teach that to a child???
We shall see!
In the meantime, Laura has become fully aware that I am able to sleep through Reid's screaming. Or so I've heard.
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