Well folks, wait no longer, here's my thought of the moment.
What causes people to change? The answer is rather simple: Fear.
Now, don't think of this as a bad thing. Some people change in fear of being someone they don't want to be. Some change to ensure their loved one is happy in fear that they will leave. Some change their underwear so others stop asking awkward questions like, "What's the smell?"
It just might be the hardest thing anyone can do. And I am finding that everyone believes they "change" in some shape or form. But I also find that a lot of people's "change" is only temporary. So it really isn't change at all. It's a fad or a phase. True change is an entire new paradigm. True change is so much more than what someone says. It is what someone does (but this is the kicker) -- over a long period of time... for a lifetime, even.
So where does fear play in all of this? Well, people have different levels of fear. Think of a battered wife. Why do they stick with those abusive husbands? I can't really answer that, as I am sure it changes from situation to situation, but then, all of a sudden, after all the weakness and pain they have suffered, they finally leave. It's the point when the fear of being alone is finally topped by the fear of being harmed. Before that point, the fear of being alone, or whatever fear it may be causing them to stick around, was, for whatever reason, just that much stronger.
It's when fear hits that tipping point that a person makes that final choice.
I, like everyone else, thought fear made you weak. It's quite the opposite. It makes someone stronger. You just can't see it until someone goes from living in fear to accepting fear and doing something about it.
And I truly believe it isn't something you can force. Change takes a very long time. There's no end date, no beginning date. There are only milestones you can reach. Except for the underwear thing... change those quickly and often.
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